The Michael's

I thought it might be nice to show a picture of Michael and I. I know, “My, it looks like Tim McGraw and George Stephanopoulos!” We get that all the time. Okay, never. I’m an awful liar.

It was taken at a Thanksgiving Get-Together. I am the one with an overwhelming amount of grey hair on the chin. I am pleased with the picture because I look thin. It’s always a good picture if I look thin. If there is even a remote shadow that looks like double chin, the picture is to be deleted/burned/shredded or buried. Sick issue I seem to have. My Michael always looks good. Even the pictures where one eye is closed and his facial expression looks like he bit into a lemon while sniffing a After-A-Turkey-Dinner-Fart.

Since this picture was taken, Michael has gained some weight, and I’ve lost some. The goatee got to experience the thrill of “Just For Men” beard coloring. Let me explain a little about my “coloring experience.” Sit back and enjoy...

Light Brown is what the box indicated. They must have some color-blind people mixing the colors in their factory. 5 minutes after applying the carefully mixed gel on my goatee, it was a lovely shade of black. Not dark brown…black. Went real well with my light brown eyebrows. I considered for a second trying to color my eyebrows to match, but knowing the luck I was having they’d turn red and my eyelashes would accidentally get gel on them and burn off.

Did I shave it off? No. My sweetie said it looked “nice” while he held back a guttural laugh. I prayed really hard that it would fade, which in a couple of days it did. But not evenly. Left side had a grey spot, middle was dark brown, and right side was brown with “grey roots” starting to come out.
Was that enough to make me shave it off? No. I got the “Just For Men” box out of the bottom of the trash can and colored it again…

Whomever said that vanity is stupid must have tried coloring their goatee?